A fucked up day.

The day started out ok. Not the greatest, but not the worst either. Got the Youngest up for school, came back and got ready (sort of) for the day. Putzed around a bit on the computer (re: Twitter Feed) and then went out for errands, cookie delivery, impromptu lunch with Hubby and then back home for chores before picking Youngest up to do more errands. Things were going pretty good. Even finalizing plans for the cookie booth in the morning and making sure we had everything for the circus we’re going to on Saturday and making sure we had all the pieces for the Mah Jong set for Thinking Day with the Girl Scouts on Sunday.

Well, about 1-1:30 this afternoon, my world began it’s downward spiral. I heard from a friend’s boyfriend that they were taking him to the ER. Now, some back story. This friend I have known for almost 5 years. He is as a brother to me and we went through A LOT together in that short amount of time. We had a running joke between us that if by age 45 neither one of us were attached, then we’d have no choice but to get married. At the time that joke started, Hubby and I were in the middle of a separation and barely speaking to each other. Now, this friend also had epilepsy. He didn’t always take very good care of himself, and would let his meds slide and everything. It was a struggle with him sometimes, but between myself and a few others we started getting him on the right path to take care of himself. So when I got the call from the boyfriend he was heading into the ER because he’d fallen in the bathroom, I wasn’t too shocked. It’s been several months since the last seizure and his worked like clock work sometimes. I told him to keep me updated and to take care of him and Richard. About ten minutes later, I got the worst call ever, next to the one from my brother that Dad had just past away. Richard hadn’t even made it to the hospital. The boyfriend and I both racked our brains, and I know he’s been doing that all day just from talking to him, wondering what the hell? Unless he had another stroke with this seizure (if he did in fact have one), I have no idea what could have done it. He wasn’t in perfect health, but Richard wasn’t in horrible shape, and besides the epilepsy, there was nothing wrong with him. So we wont know what happened until the Coroner is done with the autopsy.

I think what was the worst part, was telling the Youngest. She and Richard were pretty close, and like I said, there was nothing wrong with him, so nothing to explain to her why he died. She’s been quiet since I told her, after our tears more or less dried. And I had to wait to tell her. I couldn’t really put off the errands I needed to run after picking her up from school, and I didn’t want to spend the whole trip with her in tears and me unable to contain my own. It was hard enough when his boyfriend called me at one point to update me on some stuff and told me that I was in his will. I almost collapsed. I haven’t been able to get a hold of the Oldest yet to tell her, as she adored Richard too, and vice versa. What sucks there, is I may not be able to get a hold of her until after the funeral :-(. I hope I can before, but I’m not holding my breath at the moment.

Now what does this mean for right now? Well, besides me being very stressed, depressed, pissed, and all kinds of other emotions running high, it means no cookie booth in the morning, most likely no Thinking Day on Sunday, and me missing one or two days of work while I go to the funeral and then help sort things out. The circus is still on, and Hubby set his foot down on that one before I could say anything. He’s right, we need the distraction. Like I said, Richard was as a brother to me. I could joke and tease him just like my own. He was there for me and I was there for him. It broke my heart when he moved down to the Charleston area. Who would keep an eye on him to make sure he didn’t get into trouble? Especially without me! But even though it was a rough start for him down there, Charleston did for him what it did for me years ago: It took him into its arms and loved him. The area accepted him and he met some really great people and some very loving people that helped him to get his life back. The only thing I regret about all that is that I wasn’t there to see it first hand. The last time I talked to him he sounded so happy, and I was so proud of him.

It’s going to be hard to walk into work and not see him there. It was his fault I got my job in the first place. He was the one that handed my app to the GM at the time and told him I was good. And we had just met. Then again, he knew what my Thor’s Hammer was that I was wearing and what it meant.

Fluffy Bunny, I know you are out there, and I know you are watching over us. Know that we love you and miss you. It’s not going to be easy not having you around. And dammit! Don’t you dare have too much fun with out us, or this Neanderthal will kick your ass! Oh, and thank you for being apart of our lives. I will miss the talks. The games we played. The movies and TV shows watched, books discussed and shared. And most of all, I will miss you just being there. You brought a level of sanity to my life when at that point I didn’t think any existed. And you even brought my puppy to me, and for that I am eternally grateful. I love you and miss you.

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